Heading into 42…

Heading into 42…

So yet another year has passed. Turning 42 in less than a week. 1 August 2020 to be exact.

So much has happened in the last few years. I have lost so much, things that I can never get back. Things that are gone forever, or at least until the next life. Man I was lead so far off coarse by one particular individual. Both her and her parents tore me so far down that I started doubting myself. Doubting my own learned experiences and my hard work studying. Doubting everything.

If she ever reads this blog I hope she realizes how badly she broke my spirit. I have yet to build myself back up and hope to one day be back on top where I was when I met her. I am glad she is out of my life.

Its the person that was in my life before that that I miss so dearly. I miss our long chats, our moments of peace without saying a word. Our adventures. Our life. But hey that too is damaged and cannot be repaired.

Life is short, brutal and has its ups and downs, more downs than ups. Its been very hard for me not to take the easy way and just take my life.

My birthday actually depresses me. 🙁

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