Change. Sometimes change is needed in order to move fwd in life. Sometimes change is what sets things right, or what puts us off coarse. If you have experienced change, and I mean massive change, then you will understand what I am saying. How we elect to make the changes however is what determines if the change was a good one or a bad one. Lets talk a little about change and how it can affect ones life, more specifically how it has affected my life over the last few years.
How are you, I am often asked and my answer is “I am Fine”
Am I really fine? Or am I just avoiding having to answer the barrage of questions that will follow if I openly say how I am truly feeling?
Lets just say, life was going on well for me for many years. I was happy, mostly healthy and had the most amazing people in my life. I made some changes and although I still have amazing people in my life, I dearly miss those that I have lost.
My advise to anyone suffering from any form of mental illness is hang onto those who stand by you. No matter how bad you think you are for them, if they choose to stand by you, stand by them. Do not make the mistakes that I have made. Hang onto them with all that you have. Make them realize just how much they mean to you.
I have for the past two years battled with some serious demons in my head. The problem now is that those demons have won the war with me and I have pretty much given up. I do not see the point in fighting everyday when what I am fighting for is not what I want my life to be. I have messed up everything so badly.
Now its a matter of finding a way, a means to an end. Something has to change. Somehow I have to find a way to make things better. I cannot go on like this for much longer.